Jonny and I had a scare last night. While I was flushing Emma's lines, I noticed a tiny bruise and bump on her stomach. This was almost like the one she had when she was first diagnosed. Immediately I yelled for Jonny and told him to call the dr. All of the horrible memories came back from that first day she was diagnosed. But this time I knew that it would be considered a relapse, and they would go to a bone marrow transplant next. As we were waiting for the dr. to call, I started to pack our bags for the hospital. I don't know why, but it was my first instinct. Emma's primary dr., Dr. McNall, called back and said that she wasn't worried about the bruise. She said that if her lymphnodes were swollen and she had that bruise, she would be worried. But Emma's lymphnodes were fine.

She said that it would be almost impossible for the blasts to grow that fast, and since her cbc was clear on thursday, she said she shouldn't have any blasts. We felt a little bit better after we heard from the dr., but we just couldn't shake the bad feeling we had. We tried to convince ourselves that if she had a bruise anywhere else on her body, we wouldn't even think twice about it. But we are still scared. Home health care is going to come out today to do a cbc to see if Emma's counts are good enough to admit tomorrow for chemo. So we should know if her blood is clear or not for sure today.

We realized again last night that the worry is never going to go away. God has given us such a beautiful gift which can be taken away at any moment. Why have I been stressing over the smallest things this week!? God taught me last night to stop stressing out about my messy house, finances, and all of other stresses in life, and hand them over to him. He WILL take care of everything, and I can't always have control. No matter what happens, God is taking care of us. He has already shown us numerous times since Emma was diagnosed.

Please pray for:

Emma's CBC to come back clear today

Next round of chemo(No side effects, No infections)

A restful stay at the hospital(3-4 weeks)

Peace for Jonny and I

Emma stays in remission