Easter 2010

Emma had a great Easter here at the hospital. This will be her second Easter and her second Easter in the hospital. We started out the day by opening her easter basket, which the easter bunny delivered here at the hospital. We then dyed easter eggs, which she absolutely loved! Then mommy dressed her up in her beautiful yellow and blue dress and she showed it off to all of the nurses and doctors. She cooked daddy and I easter dinner in her kitchen and then all of her family arrived. Jonny and I stepped out and ate our dinner, while she played with everyone. Nana brought her more eggs to dye so she did that and just played the day away. It was nice to be with Jonny and Emma and have such a great day!

She has been feeling great these past few days and her attitude has returned in full force : ) Which is so refreshing, although tiring. She is back to being miss bossy pants and is actually walking by herself every once in a while. She even tried to stand up from the sitting position, and almost did it without help. She is starting to gain a little bit of weight, but the nutritionist would like to see her gain more soon. Her muscles are starting to rebuild and she is really starting to turn around.

She is still on the nutrition through the IV (TPN & Lipids) and is on fluids round the clock. They have decided to stop the antibioitic today, since she is clear of the air in her stomach and looks so well. Her counts are still really low, and she has not had chemo for about 5 days. Her counts have to recover before they can start back up. I asked the doctor if they would make it up, and he said that in this phase of chemo, they usually don't make it up. She only has 2 weeks and 5 days left of chemo and they don't really think it will make a difference. BUT they can't tell me that she won't relapse. I have been worried so much about not finishing out the chemo, but the docs don't seem worried. Even if she finished everylast drop of chemo, they still couldn't tell me for sure that she wouldn't relapse. GRRR!!!! I just want to know the future please!! I told Dr. Meyer this morning that even when Emma is 30 I 'm going to be calling the clinic with every little thing : ) I'm just struggling a little bit with trusting God, even though I know he has had his arms around my baby since the day she was conceived.

Dr. Meyer talked to us about going home this week. As long as they could get her nutrition stable enough and insurance would allow it. Jonny and I were against going home at first only because we didn't think she would adjust well with the kitchen and table since she is still not able to eat. She will not be able to eat again until April 14th. But after talking it over, we decided that we are sooo ready to be home. So, we got the word today that insurance has approved it! Now, we just have to see what her liver levels are tomorrow and we can possibly go home tomorrow or thursday. I'm nervous about going home because she will still be on the IV nutrition, and they will have to train me how to use the pump and administer it myself. Yikes! They also are talking that she will be on it for 20 hours a day : ( I hate that we will have to bring actual medical equipment into the house, but it will sure make Emma so much more comfortable. She will visit the clinic 2-3 times a week to check her counts and her liver level to make sure she is tolerating everything ok.

On the 15th, if everything still looks good, they will start her on a clear liquid diet, and then slowly move to formula. If she tolerates that, then she can start with solid foods again. I can't wait to see how happy she is when she can eat, and when we can eat as a family again! It's the little things like eating dinner together that I miss so much : )

It was a year ago yesterday that Emma was diagnosed with Leukemia. As I go back and read my blog and remember that horrible day, I just cry. I still get sad when she is getting an xray or getting her dressing changed. She is so good and just lets us do our job, this is her normal. But this is NOT supossed to be her normal. Or so I think. As I look back on the past year, I get sad, but realize how truly blessed I really am. I have such a brave daughter who has fought cancer, and won!!! And has done so with so much courage and so little crying or complaining. I am so proud of her and so proud to be her mommy! I look forward to everyday with her!! God has taught me what the most important things in life are. I hope that I can hold onto that forever and forever be changed. Thank you God for giving me the gift of Emma Grace and healing her body!

Thank you everyone who has prayed for Emma over the past year! Jonny and I cannot thank you enough for the continued support you have shown us. We will forever be grateful!!

Please pray this week:

Emma to be able to go home

She will be healed forever!

Adjusting to home and not eating

No long term effects from the chemo

Peace for our family as we worry about not doing chemo these last few weeks

Rest for all of us

Our new baby girl who will be arriving August 16th!